My verdict after three years of homeschooling is: I like it. The homeschooling lifestyle is a good fit for our family and a really good fit for Ryan. As we wrapped up this year, for the first time Paul and I started thinking of homeschooling as a long-term plan. This does not mean that we wouldn’t change things up if a specific need or challenge arose. However, I am no longer thinking in terms of “when we send the kids to a traditional school…” but if.
So here are my observations, experiences, and hopes as we head into our 4th year!
Homeschoolers are rock stars.
I realize it might not be the case in all parts of the country, but, in our little corner of Western NC, our identification as homeschoolers always elicits praise, cheers, and admiration. One woman at the grocery store threw her hands up in the air and loudly exclaimed, “That is wonderful! Way to go! You are doing the right thing for your children.” Of course, I’ll take all the encouragement I can get. Fellow shoppers, store clerks, doctors, tutors, etc. have never expressed concern or doubt about my children’s future.
My close friends are split 50/50 between those who homeschool and those who don’t. While it could be awkward or elicit defensiveness, everybody appears comfortable with their family’s educational choices. I think it would be harder if a friend wanted to homeschool but could not do so financially or logistically. As far as I know, that’s not the case for any of them.
Homeschoolers are fascinating.
I could add, “So are big families!” Maybe the attention we receive is a combo effect. After the supportive responses mentioned above, the next question is always, “How do you do it? I could never homeschool! I’d go crazy!”
I never mind questions and am happy to answer them. And guess what? I go crazy on a regular basis. I think most of the people who believe they could never homeschool have not been faced with a compelling reason to do so. The reason why a family is homeschooling provides much of the drive that keeps us going every day. When I am tempted to throw in the towel, it is always helpful to remember why we’re doing this for our children.
Homeschooling is not a competitive sport.
But if feels like one! Homeschooling mamas love, love, love to talk curriculum and teaching methods. Classical, Charlotte Mason, Thomas Jefferson, unschooling, and hybrids of the above are debated rather passionately. Of course, even within each methodology the implementation can look very different from family to family. Comparison is an easy trap to fall into, and that leads straight to defensiveness.
It’s helpful to remember that each family is unique. What works for one family will not work for every family. I have a friend who is using the Charlotte Mason method and applying it beautifully. Her daughters are receiving a wonderful education. However, this method would not work with my 8 year age spread, busy boys and a very needy toddler. I would lose my mind trying to recreate her approach in my own home! It takes practice, but homeschooling mamas have to learn to hear about others’ choices without feeling threatened.
Homeschooling takes humility.
This might feel like a contradiction to the above, but it’s really easy to miss the forest for the trees. I can be so narrowly focused on my perspective of my children day in and day out, that I must acknowledge the possibility of overlooking an area that needs my attention (just like I don’t realize that my children have grown taller until someone else points it out to me!). Paul is often the first to point out something that needs attention, usually following a day when snow has him working from home. “Do you realize that Miles complains about every thing you assign him?” Hmm… Then I suddenly recognize the obvious and can address it.
Our state requires standardized testing once a year, and I actually welcome it. I want an outside perspective. I carefully analyze the results with an eye for areas I could improve. This doesn’t mean that I tailor my teaching to the test. However, if my child is testing behind in a subject, I want to make sure I understand why. For example, the first year we tested, Ryan was in the lower percentiles on “phonemic awareness” and “spelling.” Those were the exact areas he was receiving in-home tutoring to address. In this case, our choice to devote time and money on the tutoring was confirmed. Two years later, those scores are at grade level and above. The area of weakness was successfully addressed!
I often hear homeschooling mamas dismiss observations about their children’s education or behavior out of hand. “I know my child best, so I don’t care what he/she says.” I try to consider those comments carefully – Is the criticism legitimate? If not, I can ignore it and move on. If it is true, am I addressing this issue already? It is hard not to take those observations personally, especially if they are not shared kindly! After all, I am their primary teacher. However, our family is far from perfect, and my children are not puppets.
Homeschoolers do need socialization.
Wait, what?! No, I do not mean the kind of socialization that renders them capable of interacting with other humans. That’s a homeschooling myth that is hopefully outdated. I am referring to a homeschooling community. This lifestyle can be very lonely! Obviously, we are home a lot. Secondly, because every family’s homeschool looks different, schedules do not align as easily as I assumed that they would. Families might start after breakfast; sleep in; break for summer; don’t break for summer; have lessons/classes in the afternoon; school 4 days a week not 5; no longer have a napping child; etc. It requires a lot of intentional effort to arrange time with other families.
Thirdly, I believe children need and enjoy time with same-aged friends. You’ll often hear homeschoolers criticize the “artificial” traditional classroom because everyone is grouped by age. However, homeschoolers can have the opposite problem. Ryan said a lot last year, “I miss playing with boys my age.” There are many skills to be learned from playing with older and younger siblings, but I totally get his desire to be with kids who think and play in similar ways.
With all that in mind, we are joining a new homeschool community this fall called Classical Conversations. One day a week, my children will spend a whole day with their peers! And guess what? I will get to spend the same amount of time with other homeschooling moms. I am hoping this will solve one of our biggest challenges thus far.
So, there you have it! More than you ever wanted to know about homeschooling life in the Krueger family!
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