I mentioned in my post on the beach, that we entered into the trip from a place of exhaustion. Here’s a little more of the back story – where we’ve been and where we are (theoretically) headed.
I avoid talking about my health at all costs. If I am asked how I am feeling/recovering/doing, I will usually try to answer the question as succinctly as possible and then move the conversation in another direction. There are very few people in my life who know to push harder for the full truth. I wish I could say that my reasons centered around selflessness or humility of spirit. In fact, it is straightforward vanity. I hate being perceived as weak or needy. I prefer to give rather than to take. Certainly my temperament tips me in this direction, but good old pride takes me to ridiculous extremes.
Since my pregnancy with Abby, old health issues (fibromyalgia) and new ones (post partum depression) needed serious attention. It took until she was at least two years old for me to begin to feel like myself again, thanks largely to a medication that beautifully addressed the pain and difficulty sleeping of fibromyalgia and the lingering depression.
Of course, I broke my leg in late March. We survived (in fairly good spirits!) and enjoyed three weeks of Normal Life before receiving a positive pregnancy test. This sweet surprise immediately threw life into an uproar again. I’ve had the worst “morning” sickness of all my pregnancies combined, frequent migraines, and the task of weaning off of my magical medication. Summer looked totally different, despite my already modest expectations. It’s been long days on the couch for me and equal parts patience and restlessness for the kids.
For Paul and me, it’s been a long, slow slide into the exhausting and overwhelming. Many things had already been “let go” while my leg healed, and life with young children is precarious enough on a good day. Every drawer or cabinet opened, pile shoved aside or stepped over, glance into the weedy backyard (oh, the garden!), or apologetically canceled plan brings a wave of discouragement that must be beaten back. However, we are human, with very real physical, emotional, and financial limitations.
A few weeks ago, I told Paul, “Something has got to give.” Even though my morning sickness should wane over the coming weeks/months, the pain caused by my fibromyalgia will not. My sleep quality will only worsen as the baby grows. I will be homeschooling our children. Paul still has a full and part time job. And we’ll be adding a newborn before we know it.
So, we’re trying a few changes to lift burdens here and there in the hopes that daily life will feel a bit more manageable.
1. We hired Merry Maids to clean our bathrooms and kitchen every other week. I did not shop around for lots of quotes. I did not ask many (any?) questions. These important rooms in our house just need to be cleaned. Oh, do they. They need to be cleaned professionally, efficiently, and without any scheduling/cancelation drama. Period.
2. We expanded our family. No, we did not get a kitten! Meet ROBi:
When I told a friend I was pregnant, she said, “Well, you know, once you have four children, you have to get a Roomba.” It helps to have people who have gone before you fill you in on The Rules! While ROBi’s pricetag initially took our breath away, he’s been with us for two weeks now, and we have not looked back! Children are messy; our floors need to be vacuumed a lot. ROBi is more than up to the task. I could go on and on, but I’ll sum it up by saying, “We are in love!”
(Sidenote: If you ever have a few hours to kill and could use some entertainment, reading the Roomba reviews on Amazon or Bed, Bath & Beyond is too much fun. These little robots are treated like members of the family, and they all have names. Clever writing combined with passion is always a win!)
3. We enrolled Abby in preschool two mornings a week. This accomplished three things: a) It gives Abby a break from hanging out every morning while the boys do school; b) It allows the boys and me to work uninterrupted on a special or more challenging project/assignment/ experiment; and c) One of those mornings coincides with the boys’ home school co-op classes, giving me two hours alone once a week. I have not had such a gift since Miles was born five years ago! I’ll enjoy this time while it lasts (until approximately mid-February…).
4. We went ahead and started school on August 10th. I know this seems counterintuitive. However, if we are going to be home, we might as well be spending our time here productively. The kids were more than ready, and we desperately needed some structure around here. Stay tuned for a post on how we’re doing so far!
5. We have stripped down our schedule considerably, and I am being highly protective of our time. This does not mean we will be holed up at home, not socializing or enjoying fun activities. It does mean that we will commit to few regular obligations, such as extracurricular activities or co-ops. One of the reasons I have looked forward to homeschooling is that we can avoid the “always in the car” feeling that school sometimes gave me. An afternoon rest/nap time is mandatory for even me. The kids will be one another’s primary playmates, and that’s okay for right now.
There you go. We’re tired and drowning…but simultaneously loved and blessed. As Paul and I say to each other frequently these days, “Such is life.”
No comments:
Post a Comment